Steppenwolf is a movie at war with itself. It doesn’t seem to know what to make of its own story, as what it seems to be saying shifts multiple times. On more than one occasion, Braiyuk (Berik Aytzhanov) responds to questions about death by laughing and pretending to fuck a large, floppy, plush dog. His […]
Author: Austin Noto-Moniz
Final Destination Bloodlines Review
As a staple of the aughts, it’s fitting that the last entry in the Final Destination horror franchise came fourteen years ago. It’s a series of mid-budget horror films with almost no recurring characters spawned from a rejected spec script for The X Files, squarely situating it in another time. While none of the original […]
Rosario Review
The decline of the movie star has been well-documented. For the uninitiated, the idea is that audiences historically showed up to a movie on the strength of its lead actors, but that’s not generally true anymore. Currently, the ones who can draw a crowd are mostly over forty, indicating that Hollywood hasn’t been minting new […]
The Shrouds Review
If you ask most people what makes a David Cronenberg movie, they’ll inevitably use the phrase “body horror”. It’s not unreasonable: his breakthrough came when he codified the genre in the 80s with Scanners and Videodrome, softening the ground for The Fly to become his biggest box office success in 1986. The connection between his name […]
The Amateur Review
While The Amateur is technically a remake, it’s more akin to last year’s The Fall Guy. Popular culture has largely forgotten the original spy movie (and book), and the marketing for James Hawes’ version has avoided mentioning that source material. Given that neither was very well received, that’s probably for the best, as it gives Rami […]
Hell of a Summer Review
At first, the offer of Hell of a Summer is very recognizable. An unknown and unseen killer slowly picks off a bunch of kids at a summer camp while their friends obliviously go about activities nearby. There are campfires, tall tales, tiny cabins, lame ice breakers, and awkward hook-ups. There’s the initial moment when they […]
Ash Review
There’s a certain type of low-budget sci-fi I will always show up for. They lack the money to pull off a grand epic. They feature limited action, although a clever director can disguise that with filmmaking tricks and careful planning. They never feature current stars, although rising actors and those past their prime are fair […]
The Rule of Jenny Pen Review
The only certainty of every living being’s life is that it will end. All we can do is hope to enjoy our final years with dignity, even if the ravages of Father Time require us to take up residence in an assisted living facility. Granted, most people are scared by the prospect of ever ending […]
Cleaner Review
Cleaner feels like a relic from a bygone era. The many comparisons it’s received to Die Hard are debatable, although the marketing is certainly inviting them. To be fair, their cores are the same: an action-thriller in the style of an airport novel about an unassuming person thrust into a dangerous situation whose skills and […]
Armand Review
With her astounding performance in 2021’s The Worst Person in the World, the cinema world fell in love with Renate Reinsve. Her ability to capture the duality of early adulthood was uncanny, infusing the chaos of self-discovery with the vulnerability of knowing you’re a mess. That kind of virtuosity had cinephiles eager for her next […]