Bondathon: Never Say Never Again

Sean Connery famously said that he would never return to play James Bond after Diamonds Are Forever. However, he was convinced to return for one final adventure for the unofficial Bond film, Never Say Never Again.

James Bond is now an aging agent who is no longer sent out on missions. M (Edward Fox) has deactivated the Double-0 section and dislikes Bond. Bond gets called into action when two nuclear warheads are stolen from the US Air Force and SPECTRE blackmails the world’s major governments.

Never Say Never Again came to be because Kevin McClory successfully sued Ian Fleming for turning a screenplay they were working on into the Thunderball novel, without crediting McClory. Because of this legal complicition, McClory got a producing credit for Thunderball and was allowed to produce his own version of Thunderball after 10 years. This led to legal complications for both the official series and the unofficial film.

McClory had rights to Blofeld and SPECTRE. This was why they didn’t appear in any official Bond film after Diamonds Are Forever and only returned in 2015. But Never Say Never Again could only use the plot from Thunderball, an original story wasn’t allowed and EON had the copyright to things like the gun barrel and Bond theme.

The hindrance to Never Say Never Again was the fact it had to stick so closely to Thunderball’s plot. There was little room for invention or differences. Never Say Never Again had the same plot points as Thunderball: SPECTRE stole two nuclear bombs by blackmailing an American USAF officer and SPECTRE planned to use them to hold the world hostage, so Bond has to stop them. Never Say Never Again had to use the situations and scenarios like Bond having to go to a health clinic so he could get back into shape and Domino’s relationship with Largo (Klaus Maria Brandauer). The first act of Never Say Never Again was a beat-for-beat re-tread of Thunderball’s first act.

Never Say Never Again did have some interesting ideas that could have been explored further. The film addresses Bond’s age and implies he was past it. Skyfall explored this idea in more detail. Goldeneye showed M disliking Bond and his methods. I would like to see an official Bond film showing MI6 having budgetary issues and having to operate on meagre resources.

Never Say Never Again does have some cool sequences. The opening sequence showed Bond getting down and dirty taking down some terrorists before the film reveals that it was a training exercise. The motorcycle chase in Nice was the action highlight of the film, especially when Bond escaped being captured and gets chased by the baddies. The action in the health spa was better than in Thunderball because Bond had a fistfight with a henchman played by Pat Roach. Bond was only able to defeat Roach with his urine sample: 30 years’ worth of STDs doing their work.

The production did bring in a lot of senior crew members from Raiders of the Lost Ark. This included the cinematographer David Tomblin, second unit director Mickey Moore, and the aforementioned Pat Roach. They gave Never Say Never Again a brawler spirit. It’s funny that both Bond films from 1983 referenced Raiders of the Lost Ark in some way. Octopussy tried to copy the adventure tone whilst Never Say Never Again tried to replicate the action.

The other improvement Never Say Never Again made to Thunderball was SPECTRE’s demands. In Thunderball SPECTRE demanded £100 million from NATO which sounded low even by 1965’s standards. In Never Say Never Again they wanted 25% of GDP from major countries, so a lot more profitable. The reason for Bond going to a health spa was more justified in Never Say Never

Whilst not an improvement to the official series, Alec McCowen made an impression as Never Say Never Again’s version of Q. Algernon as he was known bemoaned his lack of funds and did something Desmond Llewelyn never said, demanding ‘plenty of gratuitous sex and violence.’

The biggest selling point of Never Say Never Again was bringing back Connery to the role. If he didn’t return then the film properly would never have been made. Who would have watched an unofficial Bond film if they had a different actor played 007? Like what happened with Diamonds Are Forever, Connery was given an offer he couldn’t refuse. He was given $3 million, 15% of the gross and creative control. He seemed more committed to this film than he did in Diamonds Are Forever where he gave an embarrassingly half-arsed performance.

Other members of the cast were a mixed bag. In Thunderball Largo, Domino, and Fatimi Volpe were classy, whilst in Never Say Never Again Largo and Fatimi Blush were amped up. Barbara Carrera earned a lot of praise for her performance: she won a Golden Globe for Best Actress. But in Thunderball Fatimi was a femme fatale with a seductive quality, whilst in Never Say Never Again she was just batshit insane. Brandauer did feel controlling as Largo because he watched and possessed Domino and I would put him on par with the Thunderball version. Domino in both films was played by beautiful ladies but Kim Basinger had the edge because her version had a bit more fight and Basinger had more screen presence than Claudine Auger.

McClory and this production did try to swing their proverbial willy around with their version of SPECTRE. They got Max von Sydow to play Blofeld which did give Never Say Never Again some gravitas. It was nice to see the white fluffy cat appear again. However, EON did a pre-emptive strike in For Your Eyes Only with Bond killing a bald villain in a humiliating way.

One of the weakest aspects of the film was the music. The film opened with a theme song sung by Lani Hall. The song didn’t fit the opening sequence and had an irritating earworm of the chorus with ‘Never Say Never Again’ being repeated. Never Say Never Again was meant to be an intense action film but the score did not sound like it would match a fist-pumping action scene.

Never Say Never Again serves as a curiosity because it shouldn’t exist. It was nice to see Sean Connery play the role one last time. But it was a film hampered by the legal restrictions which affected the more interesting ideas.