Fountain of Youth Review

A team of treasure hunters searching for the Fountain of Youth discover clues to its location in a series of famous paintings. Trouble is, they’re all squirrelled away in museums and private collections, or simply lost to time. All of which makes getting hold of them more than a little challenging, and it’s not long before they draw the attention of both law enforcement and a shadowy group sworn to stop them.

On the face of it, a Guy Ritchie led adventure film sounds like a real winner. The master of the crime drama with a comic twist has already shown a dab hand at spy movies (albeit an under-appreciated endeavour), war movies, and a little in between. So just imagine what he could do with a story about a ragtag team crossing the globe in search of some lost artefact. Or maybe don’t, because it’s not as impressive as you or I may have hoped.

Fountain of Youth begins with a fun sense of urgency, as we’re introduced to Luke Purdue (John Krasinski), the man leading the search for the titular spring, already well into his acquisition of artistic clues. The proceeding chase shows a hint of Ritchie’s quirky style, as our treasure hunter attempts to evade a bunch of goons through the streets of Bangkok. Said acquisition proves rather difficult to hold on to, as it’s not long before Luke is having to fight Esme (Eiza González) and her friends, who are looking to relieve him of the painting and end his quest altogether. And as if that wasn’t enough, Luke is soon tearing through the streets of London in a flash sports car with another stolen painting, and his sister, Charlotte (Natalie Portman) in tow. Strangely however, it’s as if someone were trying to get all the chases out of the way early, because after this the kinetic energy that kicked things off peters out and the movie loses its fun sense of urgency.

The rest of the movie mostly centres around Luke and Charlotte’s almost constant bickering as they continue to track down clues, while Esme and an overly flamboyant Interpol agent (Arian Moayed) half-heartedly chase them. Had the bickering actually been funny, it might have worked. But it’s mostly just annoying, making Luke look like an overconfident dickhead and Charlotte a sullen buzzkill. Yeah, they really aren’t that fun to be around. Although, at least Luke gets a little humorous back and forth with Esme, and a half-hearted arc of learning to think of someone other than himself… at the very last minute. The same cannot be said of Charlotte, who is mostly just irritating. And the less said about their friends Murphy (Laz Alonso) and Deb (Carmen Ejogo) the better, as they are mostly reduced – rather unfortunately – to the role of exposition machines. I say unfortunately because not only are they two great actors, their characters are pretty much the only likeable people in this movie. Along with Benjamin Chivers as Charlotte’s plucky son, Thomas.

There is a fun scene involving a shipwreck that’s reminiscent of another fictional adventurer’s escapades in Raise The Titanic. But it also feels like a bit of a soulless rip-off of that far superior movie. And therein lies the movie’s problem; it’s just a rehash of what’s been done before, and in better movies. There’s no spirit to it, no real excitement, and definitely no race against evil. In fact, the big villain reveal – I’m not sure what else you’d call it – comes out of nowhere. There’s no subtle changes or little clues to suggest anything amiss. They’re fun and likeable until another character suggests they might not be – based on absolutely nothing – and then they suddenly become the arsehole. So much so that this search for the legendary fountain feels less like an adventure and more of a chore. Even the action, with the exception of those early chases, feels dull, uninspired, and oddly sanitised. Although I’m not sure some bloodshed and a higher age rating would have done anything to help this rather lacklustre escapade.