Oh, Hi! Review

The very first scene of Oh, Hi! announces the shape the story will take. Iris (Molly Gordon) has beckoned Max (Geraldine Viswanathan) to the vacation home she’s sharing with her boyfriend, Isaac (Logan Lerman), for the weekend. Both women are in disbelief about an unnamed “bad thing” that Iris has done to Isaac. The scene lasts just a minute or two before a title card rewinds time by 33 hours, at which time they’re a charming, happy couple sharing a long drive. So we know that things are going to get very dark, very fast.

Except…they don’t. Oh sure, things get fucked up long before Iris calls Max. But director Sophie Brooks takes her time getting there. She wants to ensure we know that Iris and Isaac make a wonderful couple, with complementary yet distinct personalities. They have tremendous chemistry both in and out of the bedroom, aided by the real-world chemistry between the actors. In fact, the whole first act is made to feel like a traditional rom-com. As charming as it is, you’re at no risk of wishing for it to be the whole movie. Partially because its humor is mediocre, and partially because it’s so preoccupied with setting up what’s to come (including my favorite: Chekov’s David Cross). That’s what makes it so strange: it already told us that things are going to take a turn, so why is it trying to fool us? It calls to mind Fresh from a few years back, except that film just jumps straight into a perfect imitation of a romcom. So when it takes a sharp right turn into horror at the end of the first act, you’re genuinely shocked and unmoored. Here, you’re just tapping your watch, waiting for what was telegraphed to actually happen.

It’s not as if Brooks is trying to hide a weak premise. The first night they’re at the house, they find the owner’s bondage gear, and Isaac suggests being chained to the bed while they have sex. All goes well, until Iris refers to their romantic future during post-coital pillow talk. Isaac objects, insisting he’s not looking for anything serious. That idea is patently absurd: they’ve been lovey-dovey all day, including quietly reading next to each other, and he even cooks her scallops for dinner! Regardless, he won’t budge, and it seems like the relationship is over. However, he made the mistake of saying all this before she untied him. In a fit of desperation, and egged on by her mother’s assertion that “Men don’t know what they want”, Iris decides to leave him chained to the bed. She thinks if they spend more time together, he’ll “get to know her”, and realize he actually does want to keep dating her. Max enters after a full day of this arrangement produces no fruit.

That conceit places the film in good company. Misery and Gerald’s Game explore the horror inherent in the situation, while Pedro Almodóvar’s classic satire of heterosexual relationships and fascism, Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, is closer in tone (and theme) to Oh, Hi!. Apart from their central image of a person tied/chained to a bed, all three pick their overriding tone early on, and gradually turn up the dial until the stakes reach a fever pitch. They’re not afraid to embrace their premise, sometimes pushing the situation to a ridiculous place. Each one is defined by a confident conviction in the reality of its events that keeps the plot cohesive.

Oh, Hi!, on the other hand, never drops its trepidation. Any time the drama gets too real, it’s undercut with a joke or a scene change. There are rarely long runs of humor, and what’s there is never swinging for the fences. Some of the ideas are entertaining, such as the debate about whether or not they have to resort to killing Isaac, but the actual dialogue is limp and underwhelming. It’s further hurt by the characters’ inability to make common sense decisions. For example, if someone who’s had you chained to a bed all day starts to unchain you, don’t tell them you’re going to the police until after they finish unchaining you. It’s inevitable that the particulars of this setup render everyone involved unsympathetic, but it’s brought into particularly sharp relief as the movie saunters towards its climax and you find yourself unsure what you’re hoping will happen and who you’d like to come out on top.

Brooks does manage to make some fairly solid observations about the contentiousness of modern dating. Her main target is the type of guy who’ll surprise you with a dozen roses and a homemade candlelit dinner for no reason, only to push back at the idea of monogamy or labels. Referring to Isaac as a “softboi” and invoking Tinder relationships makes clear it’s about modern people. But by also utilizing the long-standing stereotypes of crazy women and asshole dudes, it focuses on the performance we all accept as inherent in dating. Neither of them are comfortable putting their true selves or desires forward, especially Isaac. Of course, that (self-)deception becomes the crux of the initial fight, and ensures the conflict cannot possibly come to an easy end.

Despite all the potential depth here, it still included a bunch of padding to stretch to ninety minutes. So many tiny issues that crop up take a few minutes to resolve instead of a few seconds, speaking ill of the characters’ powers of reason. The result is that even if you can get past their major character flaws (or crimes), they’re just plain unlikable and hard to root for. So when it ends, you’re left to wonder what you got out of the experience, and what it was all for.