Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins Review

There were many cartoons based on toys in the ‘80s. Transformers, He-Man, and My Little Pony being some of the most famous. G.I. Joe was another one of these toy-based cartoons and Paramount and MGM have attempted to reboot the movie series.

Snake Eyes (Henry Golding) watched his father being killed when he was a child. As an adult, Snake Eyes gets recruited by Kenta (Takehiro Hira), a Yakuza boss who offers the young man a chance to find his father’s killer. In exchange Snake Eyes has to infiltrate the Arashikage Clan. Snake Eyes’ loyalties are tested when he befriends the heir to the clan, Tommy Arashikage (Andrew Koji), and discovers there is more to the situation than an internal conflict within a ninja clan.

After Transformers and My Little Pony, G.I. Joe is Hasbro’s best-known property. Hasbro has been trying desperately to turn G.I. Joe into a movie franchise. They tried with Rise of Cobra in 2009 and Retaliation in 2013. And with Snake Eyes it is strike three because all these live-action movies disappointed with critics and at the box-office.

From my experience, G.I. Joe doesn’t have the same cultural staying power. I remember watching shows like Transformers, He-Man, Defenders of the Earth, and Thundercats. I’m from the UK and perhaps G.I. Joe wasn’t that popular overseas. It does seem like Hasbro has overestimated G.I. Joe’s popularity.

Snake Eyes seemed like it wanted to be a Batman Begins-style story. The subtitle for the film ‘G.I. Joe Origins’, the hero is seeking vengeance for his parents’ death, gets recruited by a secret organisation and joins a ninja clan. Unlike Batman Begins, Snake Eyes wasn’t trying to be grounded and realistic. Snake Eyes was a film that featured giant snakes and a magical jewel.

Snake Eyes can be compared to another film: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. The Legend of Chun-Li was a prequel and reboot of the Street Fighter film series. It was a notorious flop. This doesn’t bear well for Snake Eyes.

Snake Eyes main aim was to be a fun action film. Seeing that it was focused on ninjas Snake Eyes needed some excellent martial arts sequences. Sadly, this was lacking in Snake Eyes. The fights were too fast and choppy that they were hard to follow. It was a real shame because Iko Uwais, the star of The Raid films, had a supporting role in the film. The filmmakers should have used his expertise for the fight sequences. The lacklustre action made me long for Ninja Assassin which is a damning indictment.

One of the biggest issues affecting Snake Eyes was its choice of director: Robert Schwentke. Schwentke’s Hollywood work can be described as unremarkable. His credits include RIPD and the Divergent sequels which shows the quality of work, generally mediocre. And mediocre is the best word that describes Snake Eyes. It doesn’t have any scene of flair or style, nor does it do anything that’s terrible.

The G.I. Joe cartoon was a cheesy action show. It was an animated toy commercial that was disguised as a TV show, like many ‘80s cartoons. It aimed to be a light-hearted show where the good guys beat the bad guys. The previous films realised this: they were a live-action version of the cartoon. This film was much more serious and po-faced.

Snake Eyes was an overly safe film. It took no risks nor offered any strong action sequences. Snake Eyes was one of the most forgettable attempts at a blockbuster.