The Old Guard 2 Review

It has been six months since their encounter with Steven Merrick, and while Andy (Charlize Theron) adapts to her newfound mortality, the gang are back to doing what they do best; making things better for us mere mortals. But when an old acquaintance unexpectedly returns, she brings with her a very dangerous enemy. One whose emergence from the shadows threatens all of humanity. Forcing our heroes to not only confront a global threat, but the secrets of their own existence as well.

Before watching this new immortal adventure I revisited the first movie for the first time since its release. I remember liking it, but not being blown away. So I was pleasantly surprised when, five years later, the rewatch proved quite enjoyable. It’s still a fairly standard actioner, but it can be fun to watch these immortal warriors slink around the world slaying bad people. I’d actually forgotten how much I enjoy these characters and their unique existence. Their world-weary cynicism is very much my brand of humour.

Trouble is, five years down the line I don’t think I’m going to be saying the same about The Old Guard 2. It’s not that it isn’t fun catching up with this immortal band. They are still the best part of these movies, and watching them decimate villains is still bloody and awesome – although there isn’t enough of that. No, the movie’s real problem is that it wastes far too much time meddling with and tweaking the lore to set up an almost unseen villain and a new threat. It’s all rather predictable, and yet little is done to explain why any of it is happening.

The whole thing is a series of “oh, by the way” adjustments that instead of further exploring the lives of the immortals, merely unravels most of what we learned in the first movie. In the process, the franchise’s most interesting plotlines – the immortal warrior becoming mortal, and her relationship with the friend that was stolen from her – are squandered. Even Quỳnh (Vân Veronica Ngô)’s return, and the effects that her watery imprisonment would inevitably have on her, are pretty much skimmed over.

Sad to say that the only real reason to watch The Old Guard 2 is if you love the characters. Thankfully, that excellent chemistry that the gang had in the first movie continues here. They are still excellent together, like they actually have been friends through the ages, and Andy’s mortality adds some humour to an already humorous dynamic. Henry Golding’s ‘Tuah’ makes a good addition to the team, despite the fact his existence and his role don’t make much sense. Tuah also happens to be the catalyst for one of the movie’s more undercooked and convenient plotlines. Unfortunately, this time around their mission isn’t as compelling, and there’s not enough opportunity for them to cause chaos. The action that we do get is on par with the original; fast, intense and well choreographed. This includes a nice reunion fight between Quỳnh and Andy, and a surprisingly under-resourced assault by the team on an arms dealer’s Italian villa – maybe they wanted to travel light that day.

As for the villain, well apart from a terrible taste in names, Uma Thurman’s ‘Discord’ could be an interesting opponent for our heroes. One with intriguingly human motivations. Thurman is good, but she’d actually have to be in the movie to have any real impact. But there is a reason for her absence; this is only half the story. That’s right, The Old Guard 2 is actually part 1 of a bigger story. Essentially it is the setup for Discord’s plan, culminating in a pretty good, but all too short confrontation between Andy and Discord. Which means we need to see The Old Guard 3 to see how it all turns out – if it ever happens. Which, if this lacklustre endeavour and its delayed release are anything to go by, might not happen.