Balls Up Review

After screwing up an attempt to make a not so revolutionary new condom the official prophylactic of the 2025 Brazil World Cup, two sales reps screw up the final between Brazil and Argentina. The resultant public outrage makes it very difficult for Brad (Mark Wahlberg) and Elijah (Paul Walter Hauser) to get out of Brazil alive.

Yep, you read that right. Marky Mark and the Mole Man are sales reps for a condom company and they’re spreading the joy that comes from their home country’s apparent inability to appreciate one of the world’s most popular sports. Prepare yourself for almost two hours of high art. Well no, maybe don’t do that. But if you’re stuck at home and want something to watch that’s wall-to-wall dick jokes with a sprinkling of condom related humour, you can always check out Balls Up.

There really isn’t any surprise that this was dropped mid-week onto Prime Video with all the fanfare of a mouse fart. It’s an immature comedy about bumbling Americans making a mess in a foreign country. There’s no clever satire buried under the toilet humour either, it’s just silly and crude. Although the movie does feature some rather inventive but ridiculous uses for condoms. Very strange condoms, featuring some strangely unnecessary functionality.

On the bright side, Wahlberg and Hauser are at least good together – especially when they’re butchering Gotye’s biggest hit in a hilarious duet. As with all good buddy comedies, slick and shallow Brad and nervous, reserved, considerate Ethan – I’ll leave you to guess who plays who – play off each other well. And no matter how ridiculous things get, it is funny watching them get into trouble. Something that continues to happen from the moment they bring the World Cup final to a grinding halt. Along the way Brad and Elijah encounter everything from rowdy football fans, dodgy politicians, a flamboyant drug cartel, wild animals, and jungle-dwelling hippies. The movie isn’t without stereotypes, I’ll give you that.

Benjamin Bratt is funny as a politician with issues, who is essentially unleashed by Brad. At the same time, Sacha Baron Cohen brings his usual brand of outlandish performance as… someone else the pair bump into. His performance is somewhere between King Julien from Madagascar and Ali G, only many years after the end of Ali G Indahouse, and with 80’s rockstar hair. Granted, he isn’t really doing anything he hasn’t done before, but it’s still amusing. However, by the time we catch up with the hippies the whole trip of jackasses starts to wear a little thin.

All that being said, and it may surprise you to learn this, I did enjoy Balls Up… to a degree. Much like the people that made the movie, you simply have to accept it for what it is, because they delivered exactly what they promised; an idiotically amusing buddy comedy and a dick joke-fuelled assault on the game of football. Does it do anything new? Other than stretching the condom humour to something of a new level, not really. Will it compel you to examine one facet or another of your own conscience, or even stimulate thought? Absolutely not! But if you’re looking for something easy. Something requiring zero thought. Dare I say it, something childish. Then – and possibly only then – this pointless, vulgar comedy might just make you laugh.

Balls Up is currently streaming on Prime Video.